Wednesday, April 30, 2008♥7:35 PM
im bored im bored. wahahahas. tomorrow is labour day. no more double periods of chinese lesson. i finally got time to finish all the maths, a-maths, physics, and chemistry worksheets that i have. don't know why when exams come, we'll always go to the library. last year, everytime we go to the library, it was just to have fun and just do a little bit of revision. we always use studying as an excuse. but this year, that is not the case anymore. no more going to the library and having fun and laughing with my friends. finally i know when to study and when to play. no more slacking and thinking of where to go everyday after school. this is who i am and who i want to be. i promised my parents and mr ng that i'll do my best for this mid-year exams. and i will keep that promise. thanks to sera and rochelle, they have helped me to think of studying instead of playing. studying is fun after all. glad we can have fun from studying too. hahas. hmm...what time am i supposed to meet sera tomorrow at whitesands arhs? i better go give her a call later. maybe luh(:
ilovemyfriends(:
&I'll smile for you(:
Tuesday, April 29, 2008♥9:02 PM
wahahas. today went out again. to the library. but this time, not for studying. hahas. wasn't feeling well in the morning. so skipped P.E.(as usual XD) with rochelle. talked to angel abt beer and all sorts of that kind of things. then i couldn't take it anymore after P.E. and vomitted my breakfast, which was only a cup of milk. hahas. wanted to report sick after recess but i don't want to call home. so i went back to class. surprisingly, i was ok after english lesson. and i was very hungry too. then after school got the china meeting. then after that we went to whitesands and eat macdonalds. i only ordered a student meal(upsized) and a ice-cream only. and mel was shocked at how much i ate. guess she never see me eat so much b4 bahs. no choice marhs. my stomach was empty. of cos i'll feel hungry de luh. you don't expect me to stop myself from eating right? i want to get fat too. hahas. i went home at abt 6 like that. mel still haven't go home yet lo. nvm luh. thursday labour day. i want to go study with mel, jen, rochelle, sera, and haiwen! it's better than wasting my time at home sleeping and playing computer anyway(:
imnotangrywithyou.iwasneverangrywithyouinthefirstplace(:
&I'll smile for you(:
Monday, April 28, 2008♥7:57 PM
damn angry now luh. wth? where got such things de? last saturday already unlucky enough le. nvm. forget it. no use getting angry now also. it's over. getting angry only make myself unhappy. sigh. just now went to the library to study with sera, rochelle, mel, jen, and haiwen. it has been a long time since i last went to the library. normally i wouldn't go to the library at all. too many unhappy memories. hahas. but no choice. i wanted to study. and library got air-con and it's very quiet(except for us=D). we were very noisy. hahas. well, not very noisy also luh. first time after coming to sec 3 i feel so hardworking. guess i was too slack in the first few months. and now i've finally realised that sec 3 life is very different from sec 2. in sec 2, you can slack all you want and do some last min revision. that's enough to get you quite good results. in sec 3 it's totally different. no more slacking or anything. im starting to enjoy doing homework. especially those that i know and understand. guess i've got to thank mr ng for talking to me and he made me realised that im not in sec 2 anymore. and i cannot do whatever i used to do. it's all in the past. nvm. i shall try and do my best for this mid-year exams. that's a promise i'll make to myself. hahas. alright. back to what happened in the library. after studying for abt 2 hours like that, haiwen and jen were bored already. then haiwen keep looking for her potential boyfriend. hahas. they were so distracting luh. luckily i wasn't so distracted until i don't feel like studying le. hahas. think next monday we'll go study again. i can study better in the library then at home. hahas. english paper 1 today was still ok. although i just anyhow write the compo de. letter writing die le lo. sigh. chinese paper 1 was better though. clinton drawed spongebob in his dictionary. rochelle cut the square paper and played with liquid paper. iskandar fold paper aeroplane. sera folded a paper crane. i finished early too and started to fold a chihuahua. i haven't even start folding and mr ng took my paper away. lucky i still got another one. hahas. so i still managed to fold a crane after all. wahahas. too bad! XD
i'vefinallyrealisedsomething.you'renotthatimportanttomeafterall(:
&I'll smile for you(:
Wednesday, April 23, 2008♥5:25 PM
yawns. everybody so tired today. should be because of the sports day yesterday bahs. hahas. yesterday morning very fun luh! i woke up at 5am. and i tried to go back to sleep. but couldn't. then at abt 5.35am like that it rainned. i went to close the windows, and my mum got a shock when she came into my room. she thought she saw a ghost-.-. but nvm luh. then after that i went to meet jen at the bus stop. and we waited for bus 3. cos we arranged with mel, sera, wan peng, and cedric(sera's lover:D) to meet in the bus. wah. bus 3 was crowded. and i was carrying the class tee. lol. that was still ok. until we reached the stadium. then it started rainning heavily. we waited at the bus stop for rochelle. she came at abt 7.25am like that. late le lo. hahas. after she came, we walked to the stadium. i was tempted to take off my shoes and walk in the rain. but i didn't luh. lost my umbrella again. that's the second one i've lost in less than a month. sigh. nvm. who cares? hahas. i miss rochelle, melody, jeniffer and sera. wish we were back in the same class. 2e4'07 still rocks after all. that's the best class. hahas. im crazy. thanks to rochelle's RLS and sera's SLS. hahas.
i'vechanged.andmyfeelingsforyouhaschangedtoo(:
&I'll smile for you(:
Wednesday, April 16, 2008♥7:38 PM
hahas. today i went to tampines stadium with mel and haiwen and rochelle. the weather was so warm. don't know why did we go to the stadium in the first place lo. hahas. after that, me, haiwen, and mel went to tampines mall. then we go toy's r us and saw chun kiat and zhi guang and two other friends. hahas. i had fun in toy's r us XD. i nv had so much fun for a long long time already. it's like going back to the past when we were still little kids. innocent and naive. hahas. don't know why i like crazy just now lo. lucky i was the only one who went crazy. not mel or haiwen. hahas. after that abt 6 plus like that we went home. i really miss the days when all of us were still innocent and naive little kids. hahas. i guess that's all abt today. hahas. hope we still can have so much fun next time after the exams.
imsodisappointedwithyou.i'vefinallygivenuponyou(:
&I'll smile for you(:
Tuesday, April 15, 2008♥7:37 PM
yups. that's right. im not going to waste anymore of my time. hahas. guess i've already wasted enough of my time. it's time for me to come back to reality and study hard! hahas. i promised my parents and mr ng that i'll study hard and get good results for my mid-year. even though it's just less than two weeks to mid-year, i suppose i still can catch up. anyway, if i have tried my best, even if my results isn't that good, i won't regret abt not studying when i had the chance to do so. hahas. today me and rochelle like go high luh. keep laughing at little things. like we go crazy like that. hahas. it's great fun to be with her. she really can make people laugh. hahas. sometimes even sera goes crazy becos of rochelle. hahas. nvm luh. it's all these little things that stops us from going crazy. sigh. im really looking forward to the day when we're going to china. i wonder what will rochelle do again on the plane. make us go crazy? nah. i doubt so. most probably all of us will be sleeping. sigh. still must do a presentation when we go to the school in changchun. hmm...23rd of May got PTC. how are we supposed to go for PTC when we have to be at the airport at 10pm? it'll be very rush if we go for PTC then go home to take our luggage. unless we bring our luggage to school then go airport. but it'll be like very ma fan lo. nvm. see how first. finish mid-year exam then think abt it. hahas. thanks rochelle for making me smile everyday(:
idunnowhy.butuntilnow,istillhavefeelingsforyou.sigh.
&I'll smile for you(:
Saturday, April 12, 2008♥11:54 AM
danny, im not ignoring you. i swear im not. you say that i ignore you when you talked to me. but you are always beside jiayang. how do you expect me to talk to you? i hope that our friendship can be like what it used to be. but all that is in the past. a lot of things have happened. im sure you know too. our friendship will still remain but it wont be as good as what it used to be. we're still friends. but i hope you'll understand why i'll ignore you when you talk to me in school. well, i think it's time to say the truth out. yeah right. i did like him. but it was only as a friend. i didn't like him a boyfriend. but still, i stead with him. you may not know this, but i was just playing with his feelings. i didn't know he was someone like this. who took things very very seriously. i shouldn't have done that. you may think im a bitch or what. i admit. i am a bitch. i didn't want you guys to know about this at all. so when i broke up with him, i pretended to be very upset. crying and everything. but that was only when i was in front of him. i wasn't depressed or what over breaking up with him. to me it was just nothing. but of cos i couldn't let you all know the truth. he didn't matter that much to me. otherwise why do you think i stead with another guy just one month after i broke up with jiayang? you can hate me if you want. i wont blame you. after all, i did lie to all of you. im really very very sorry about it. the only guy i really love was mathew. i didn't even love jiayang at all. it's quite surprising that i can be together with him for 3 months. i also didn't know how i managed to do that. you can choose to believe what i've said or not to believe. it's up to you. and jiayang, im really really very very sorry for playing with your feelings for 3 months. believe it or not, it's up to you. if you really want to take revenge, do so. after all im in the wrong. sorry jiayang, and sorry danny, for everything i've done. im sorry...
aftersolong,imstillmissingyoueveryday.
&I'll smile for you(:
Friday, April 11, 2008♥8:44 PM
im so tired. was late again today. cos i waited for jen. hahas. then mr jerry made me take out all of my earrings. hahas. but nvm luh. expected le. so i took it out before he saw me wearing so many earrings. hahas. you wanna ask for trouble? come on. don't mind quarrelling in front of mr ng right? come on luh. let's quarrel in front of him then. if you have the guts, go and look for him on monday luh. you want quarrel then come on lo. i bet you don't have the guts to quarrel with me in front of him luh. and, if i don't understand what is mass, what has it got to do with you? i wasn't in class and you expect me to know what's going on? wow. i bet even you can't do that. and, when i shifted to that place, i didn't saw you there. that was my mistake. and i admit it. much better then someone who always push the blame on others. like it was other people's fault like that. i didn't say that. and you wont have to know who said that. but i think a guy like you should be able to guess it quite easily. unless you're really that stupid. but i don't think so. you're someone who cant forget every single thing no matter how serious the thing is. and stop bringing up the past. the past is the past. you don't live in the past anymore. i know you didn't bring up the past to me. but still, im just saying that for someone's sake. nvm. if you're not happy with anything abt me, go tell mr ng on monday. want quarrel then quarrel in front of him. if you have the guts, then say everything out in front of him. if you don't go look for him on monday, i'll take it that you have no guts at all. i don't think you will want to lose face right? nvm. it's still your choice. take the weekend to make up your mind. no matter what, i will still go and look for him. whether you want to come or not it's your choice. i hope you'll make up your mind fast.
isawyou.butididn'tdaretolookatyou.sigh.
&I'll smile for you(:
Thursday, April 10, 2008♥5:48 PM
im tired. really really tired. what can i do? i don't really feel like going to school these few days. my legs are really painful. everytime i sit down on the floor, i have to force myself to stand up. the pain is really unbearable. how i wished that day after walking under the heavy rain, i will fall sick. it's so much better then trying my best to walk without feeling the pain. think i sprained my shoulder that day. now i cant carry my bag on both shoulders unless my bag is light. seems im so unlucky nowadays arhs? oh btw, did i even try to attract attention? get your facts right before talking abt me. seems like you're the one trying to attract attention yourself. cant you just STOP walking past my table?! it's very very Distracting do you know that? you aren't the person i want to see. and, stop talking so loud in class alright? do you know that everyone can hear everything you say? i feel so sorry for you. well, maybe i shouldn't feel that way. cos you purposely talk that loudly to attract attention huh? don't like me to be one of the organiser for anything? don't come then. we wouldn't die just because YOU n your friends didn't turn up. it's alright with us. the most i pay more. i rather pay more then see you at the bbq. you really spoil my day. im not asking for a fight or trying to spoil your day or what. if you will stop saying anything abt me, it's alright with me if you want come for the bbq. but now, i don't think i can stand seeing you. i wont waste my time on scolding you. there's lots of better things for me to do. if you're asking for another quarrel, save your energy for doing your homework and playing your computer games or whatever you want do. i promised myself i won't quarrel with you again anymore. if you want quarrel, quarrel with yourself. i don't have the time and energy to quarrel with you again anymore. understand?
seeingyouoftenmakesmethinkofthepastagain...
&I'll smile for you(:
Tuesday, April 8, 2008♥8:21 PM
depressed, fustrated, angry and unhappy. this is the kind of life im leading everyday. i really dun want to be like that. i was still alright in the morning. laughing at every single thing sera and rochelle did. but after school, everything changed. rochelle was depressed. very very depressed. on the way to the stadium, she didn't talk much at all. well, all of us didn't talk much at all. me and rochelle were listening to songs and mel was quite quiet too. actually wanted to go to tampines mall to buy something to eat. but we didn't go. after that, i was hungry. and mel don't want to walk. so in the end, rochelle went with me to buy something to eat. and while we were eating, i suddenly started to feel very very depressed also. what to do? seeing him makes me think of those unhappy memories. those are memories that i want to erase. keeping them will only make me fall into depression sooner or later. but it's alright. i don't hate him or anything. i suppose life is just like that. we wasn't fated to be together. there's nothing i can do but accept it. good for mel then. hahas. her you-know-who was very good luh. he landed very very nicely. hahas. what should i do? im so depressed. and so fustrated. i just threw the tablecloth on the floor. first time i feel so angry luh. what am i supposed to do?! im so angry so angry. fine. nvm. i don't care anymore. who cares whether mr ng will notice me or not? i totally give up on my life now le.
whymustthingsbelikethat?iwanttobewhoiusedtobe.
&I'll smile for you(:
Wednesday, April 2, 2008♥7:56 PM
boring...life everyday is the same...hahas. just now went to jen's house. then mel help my alter my skirt. now very very short. think will kenna caught lo. sigh. nvm. who cares? hahas. well...come to think of it...i find that i really changed alot after i broke up with him. maybe it's better? but well...i think i've changed in a bad way. last time i treat everything seriously. now, i treat nothing seriously. i come late to school, skip lessons and even thought of playing truant. i dun care if i get scolded or not and i quarrel with my parents over very little things. i treat exams, homeworks, and tests like a game. this is not the real me at all. i guess i just want to find some ways to escape from reality. until now, im still living in my own world. a world where i can do anything i like. and no one can persuade me to change. i really want to go back to who i really am. this life isn't the life i want. i won't let him affect my life. who is he to make me change my whole life for him? im was really foolish to cry so many times over him. it isn't worth it for me to cry over him. i finally realised that. hahas.
finallyiknowwhatdoireallywant.itsnotyou(:
&I'll smile for you(:
