Tuesday, August 3, 2010♥9:14 AM
i hope you're happy now. this is the kind of life you wanna lead, isnt it? having the best of both worlds. as long as you're happy, nothing else matters. it doesnt matter if others are unhappy or anything. thats their problem. as long as you get what you want, the rest can just try to work out themselves. am i right? i think i shall close my heart once again. you can do anything you want. i'll do anything to not get hurt again. all the tears i've shed for you, its enough. you dont know anythinng. i should have never never let my guard down when im with you. all i get in return is unhappiness and hurt and tears. 100% trust? no way. not anymore. the wall that i've built up around me was tore down by you. and i was left unprotected. i've let you in my life, i've tried to understand you. but your actions made things worse. you cant even do the basic things a boyfriend should do. if only i had known this right from the start. i will never never be taken in by all your promises, all your words again. dont blame me for not having enough trust in you. you destroyed the trust i had in you with your own hands. i wasnt the one. you were.
you are unhappy abt me joking abt your friend. but when they make a joke out of me, where were you? joining them to make a joke out of me. and you call this loving me. i never know thats what you call love.
&I'll smile for you(:
Monday, August 2, 2010♥2:09 PM
im tired, i really am. i wanna take a holiday. i wanna go somewhere where i dont have to deal with all this situations. i wanna go somewhere where i can be alone. i wanna go somewhere where i dont have to consider your feelings. i wanna go somewhere where i can just do what i like. saying things you cant do is useless. no point saying you wanna change and you dont even take the effort to do so. saying you can change and continue to do the same thing over and over again. no wait. doing it even more. its getting too much. go live the life you want to, and let me go. saying you'll choose me over your friends and asking me what would happen if you end the relationship. tell me, just what does that mean? arent you contridicting yourself? some things are hard to mention. some things, i find it hard to tell you. you only listen to things that suits you best. you only think for yourself. the result? you're happy, and im not. but it doesnt matter to you. for, you've already got the best of both worlds. just tell me what you want. you dont want to end it, but you continue to just stick with your friends. yes, i know they make you happy. yes, i know that you guys share the same common interest. yes, i know thats something i'll never be able to do for you. you say you love me. but, your love's only so shallow. its only something you say for the sake of saying it. bearing with this for 2 months is really getting too much. no one has ever treated me in such a way before. friends were never more important than me. there's no reason why i should continue to put up with this.
just go to your friends. and stop hurting me. maybe you're right. we're just not meant to be.
&I'll smile for you(:
