Saturday, May 22, 2010♥11:39 AM
当我昨晚回想起这三年来所发生的事，我真不知道我到底是该后悔我所做的一切，还是该认为我并没有错。错的是我爱上了你，错的是我太天真，错的是我太相信你所说的一切。我才会为了你，和我的父母吵架，才会为了你，让我的父母那么伤心。不过，到头来，这一切在一夜之间都没了。虽然如此，我还是放不下你。我竟然笨的把我的前途那去赌。很笨吧？没错。那就是我。还好我的老师一直不放弃，一直劝我，我才没把自己的前途毁了。要不然，我一定不会放过你的。不过，也就因为你，我再也不再天真，再也不去相信那些对我说 “ 我爱你 ” 的人。这一切都是拜你所赐。不过，算了吧。 就把这一切当成经历吧！
kinda hate myself for everything i've done, kinda hate my life. yeaps, i do hate myself. i guess people wont know why i'd hate myself for. to people, it looks like i live a very good life, w/o ever getting hurt in my life. not true. so what if i have got the looks and brains, and figure? thats not anything good at all. in fact, my troubles all start from there. yeaps. i'd rather not have most of it. i guess i should be thankful for what i've been blessed with, but yet, here i am complaining. i know there will be others who would gladly take what i've been blessed with, but if only they knew how screwed up my life was when i was only 15. cant tell ar? hahas. i've done well to hide my feelings behind a mask. no one really knows how much i've been through, except dear, maybe. even so, he cant really know. cos, im only able to tell him through words. thats all. nvm, this is my life, my fate, my destiny. but still, im tired of it. i really am. tired of life, tired of living, tired of having to put on a brave front, tired of having to smile for everyone so that no one will suspect anything. people around me need not know how much i've been through. they need not let what affected me, affect them. they need not have to pity me. yeaps, thats right. i should just continue on with what i've been doing all along. just think of others feelings, and make them happy. it really doesnt matter whether im happy or not. (:
&I'll smile for you(:
